Torn Between

I LOVE SUMMER.  I pretty much love every summer, but something about this one is just outright magical.  I have a playdate with Jake and Hunter every day for 2 1/2 months.  In the sun.  In the Northwest.  How could I get anything better than that?  I suppose you could make it 5 months or 6 months, but then it would begin to lose its appeal.  2 1/2 months out of 12 months spent enjoying God's creation, enjoying our marriage, reveling in the new excitement of parenthood, spending time with family and friends, exercising (sometimes), staying up late, eating whatever we want, whenever we want....  Magical.  

However, having this restful time also allows me to think about the other angles and layers and aspects of life.  The other times when life seems much less... magical.  When its been raining for 2 weeks and the dreary clouds echo the emotions inside.  When I read about the lives of people starving in other countries, as I think of all the parents who have lost children, or of those who live each day wondering if it is their last as they deal with diseases and cancers of all sorts.  When I hear of people losing their houses, getting laid off, or becoming homeless for reasons far more complicated than anyone ever gives them credit for.  I know God says that He will never give us more than we can handle, but why are some seasons of life so difficult?  Why can't everyone have 2 1/2 months of their life to focus on "summer-type fun"?  I sometimes feel guilty for enjoying my life so much, and for living in my little world that can so easily shut out all that is unjust, things that seem unfair, and situations that seem so obviously wrong.  

I am torn between the joy of my season and the suffering that goes on around me, unnoticed.  The woman with deep secrets that will never be shared.  The man who avoided opportunities to make peace with his father before he passed unexpectedly.  The child in an orphanage who barely gets his basic needs met.  The sweet old lady who just heard the dreaded words from the doctor.  The woman who miscarries.  

Life is about seasons.  It is about giving of your time to others.  It oftentimes focused on working with all your heart at your job.  At times it is about tradition and routine.  It can seem frazzled, pieced-together, out-of-control, and crazy.  Life can bring sickness, sadness, heartache, stress, decisions, and fatigue.  It also can be quite overwhelming to just get through another day.  

God, as I enjoy this season of life, the gift I have been given, I pray that I use the time appropriately and adequately, as my season will someday change and take a new shape.  I want to be ready to embrace it and move forward, as You continue to change my heart and change my life.